Bed

Yesterday morning I woke up at 6 am and started going into a panic.  A panic about sleeping in my own bed in my parents' house.  Soon I will be back home, which is a good thing.  A very good thing.  But at 6 am the idea of being back in my old room and in my old bathroom and in my old house, I got panicky!  I think it was more than just a panic of being in my old bed.  It was a panic of returning to the exact same life I left behind. 

My main consolation about being back in my own bed is that I won't be there for long before moving to a different bed.  First, I will be going to the cabin almost immediately after coming home.  Then less than a week after being home I'll be going to Las Vegas and Zion National Park.  Again, different beds!  And when I come home I might be spending some time at a good friend's house.  Different bed.  I guess after being slightly nomadic for the last 8 1/2 months it's going to be hard to give up!  The longest I've slept in any bed is three and half months and that was four and a half months ago!  Many weeks I've slept in a different bed every night or every other night! 

The idea of going home to the same old same old freaks me out.  And I know it's not just about beds and their locations.  It's about doing the same things I did before I came to New Zealand.  I don't want that.  I don't want that hemmed in feeling.