Reflections

January 1, 2010

This morning (Dec 31) I had a lot of time to myself.  It was my first day off in nine days.  I went out to breakfast by myself.  I went bike riding by myself. I went for a walk by myself.  I ate lunch by myself.  All my friends and coworkers were working!

I really wanted pancakes for my birthday breakfast so I went to Cafe Neve’.  There were two people in line in front of me to order.  The first guy ordered pancakes and the waiter went to check with the chef to see if there were any left.  There were.  When it was my turn to order I just asked, “Are there any pancakes left?”  The waitress checked.  There weren’t.  I turned around. I walked out the door.  I went to the Hobnail Cafe across the street and had French toast instead.

One of the things I was most looking forward to on my birthday in New Zealand was being in the middle of summer rather than the middle of winter.  My dream and hope was to wear flip flops.  I wasn’t so sure this dream would come true here in Fox.  But wonder of wonders!  We had a beautiful day.  I wore flip flops.  It wasn’t too hot, but it was lovely and warm.  So I ate both my breakfast and my lunch al fresco.  

I was inspired by the nice weather to ride the 6 km out to Lake Matheson.  When I got there I sat on a couple park benches and just took in the view.  I was very reflective.  I’m 26 now.  This is not exactly where I thought I’d be at 26.  I mean, yes it is in a way, but in a way it isn’t.  In the last year or so I’ve been imagining turning 26 in New Zealand.  But before that I always hoped my life would be a little more normal at 26.

Since I was young I imagined myself married or engaged to be married.  I imagined living in a big city and enjoying the life a big city offers.  I’d have a good office job.  But I’m not anywhere near those imaginings.  I have no romantic resume to speak of.  I don’t have an office job.  And Fox Glacier is the farthest thing from a big city I can imagine.

These were the things I thought about while enjoying the views of the prairie and the mountains.  I was a bit sad.  A bit disappointed.  Sometimes I think I came to New Zealand because none of the things I really wanted to be doing were happening.  It’s like, “My life isn’t going the way I want it to. . . I think I’ll go to a foreign country in the meantime!”  This seems to be my way of coping.  

When I finally decided I should get up and actually do the walk around the lake, I began to think about the best years of my life.  I wanted to ascertain what stage of my life seemed like the best so far.  I’d recently read a blog by a friend and she was missing her college years.  I knew for certain that I was NOT missing my college years.  I don’t really miss high school either.  I really enjoyed being young like ages 3-10.  But finally I concluded that the years since college have been the most enjoyable years.

I might fudge a little and say everything from 22 onward has been great.  I was technically still in college when I turned 22, but I had finished all my required classes and was going to France to spend my last semester.  I definitely already felt like I was done with college.

In these years, I’ve enjoyed learning to take bigger risks.  I’ve traveled.  I’ve made new friends and redefined what I consider to be friendship.  My relationship with God has grown into something I couldn’t have imagined it would be back in college.  I’ve tried numerous jobs and learned how to live unemployed.  I have experienced horrible lows and learned how to get the better of them.  These years haven’t been perfect, cookie-cutter, do-what-everyone-expects-me-to-do years.  They haven’t been what I imagined they would be.  But they have definitely been the most exciting years of my life!

In the afternoon I had more fun and was less introspective.  I sat in the sunshine and read.  Caroline took me out for coffee.  I talked to my family.  I spent time with Maureen and Jessica.  I took nap.  I spent more time in the sunshine reading.  I went for a second bike ride, this time with Jessica.  

All my co-workers pitched in and bought me a cake.  We ate the cake at Maureen’s while we watched a silly movie.  Maureen, Jessica, and I counted down the new year together.  It was quiet and peaceful.  I liked it because it was how I usually count down the new year.  There wasn’t a lot of fuss or drinking or loudness.  We just jollily and soberly wished one another a “Happy New Year”.

I’m hoping this year some of the things I have been dreaming about since I was young will come true.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m very happy that I pursued this dream of coming to New Zealand.  But I want to see some of my other dreams come true as well.  

Here’s hoping that in this new year your dreams come true too!  Happy New Year!

The Holidays

The last few days have been crazy.  Work, work, work.  I'm really getting into the working part of my working holiday visa.  Christmas day was busy and since then it's just been go, go, go.

Christmas day we had a fancy Christmas buffet in the hotel restaurant.  Afterward all the staff sat down to enjoy a Christmas meal together.  Can I be honest and say all I was interested in was dessert?  I did eat my veggies though.  We gave each other our Secret Santa gifts.  I got a New Zealand address book.  Then we all cleaned up and went home.  It was nice, but I think I'm ready for a traditional Christmas.  I haven't had a traditional Christmas with the family in so long and I miss it.  I want to eat my Great Grandma's cheese rolls and see all the extended family and open Christmas presents on Christmas Eve!

The hotel has been either fully booked or near to it the last few days.  We were supposed to have another employee come just before the holidays but she didn't show up.  So we are all pitching in wherever help is needed.  I've been learning how to do housekeeping.  I'm getting up into the rooms a lot and just doing the little stuff for now.

I feel like I've never worked so hard or so much.  I'm buggered as they say here.  (I'm tired.)  It doesn't help that the weather hasn't been too good either.  Rain.  Wind.  Even hail.  The roads have been close and flooded in a lot of places.  This afternoon the sun came out a little bit and this evening has been quite nice actually.  I just want a sunny day for my birthday!  I was so looking forward to being in a warm place in the middle of summer on my birthday.  We'll see if that happens or if we get a typical Seattle winter day (clouds, rain).

On Monday my roommate Jessica made me birthday muffins and my friends sang happy birthday to me. That was very sweet and nice.  It made me special.  Everyday Jessica wishes me happy birthday and then Maureen feels bad because she thinks she's missed my birthday.  Then I have to explain that my birthday is still days away!

I think that will bring you up to date on things here in Fox Glacier.  I hope you're having a fabulous holiday season!

Christmas Eve

December 24, 2010

I am incredibly happy just sitting in my dirty little kitchen in my stinky, damp house.  I’ve been drinking hazelnut coffee and eating macaroni noodles with cheese and butter.  Reading The Awkward Age in the sunshine is my occupation this morning.  Then in a minute the sun disappeared and a dark cloud poured rain, the wind swept through.  I hardly understand The Awkward Age by Henry James, but I keep reading it.  Being in a quiet town takes away all my excuses for not reading challenging classics!

In the mornings I have the house to myself.  Josh is in the hotel kitchen serving and making breakfast, and this morning probably preparing for Christmas dinner tomorrow.  Yes, it’s Christmas Eve morning.  Jessica is working up a sweat cleaning rooms and making beds.  In fact everyone is at work except me.  So I’m going to have a cup of tea by myself.

I miss the quieter days when Maureen and Jessica and Josh finished work early and we all sat at this table together and had tea or coffee.  Jessica and Josh and I played cards.  I don’t think I appreciated those busy mornings like I should have!  But I am happy sitting here by myself too.  I’m hoping the sun will come out again and I can soak the sunshine up!

The radio is playing the only station we get out here.  They play music dating from the 70s to now.  But in my opinion they could play a bit more Christmas music.  When a Christmas song comes on I jump up and turn it up.  

This is a different Christmas.  Hardly any decorations, hardly any music, and none of the regular traditions I’m used to.  But that doesn’t make it any less Christmas time.  It may not feel like Christmas much to me, but it is and I need to celebrate it any way I can.  Even if the celebrations are not what I’m used to.

I’m ending this Christmas Eve much as I began it.  I’m sitting at my kitchen table in my stinky, damp house.  Sun has gone down and it is dark.  I’ve just been reading more of The Awkward Age and eating Nutella straight from the jar.  But I did a lot in between this morning and this evening.

Work was quieter today than yesterday or the day before.  It was pleasant though.  We had fun and it was nice to have a more laid back day before the big day tomorrow.  We’re having two Christmas dinner settings.  One at 6 and one at 7:30.  

I finished work early too.  I was home by 9:15.  Cookie made me a fabulous dinner.  I had a steak sandwich with an egg, tomato, lettuce, cheese, and hollandaise sauce on beautiful ciabatta-like bread.  Yum!  Quite the Christmas Eve dinner!  Very different from the oyster stew I grew up with!

After having dinner with Josh, I got a card game together.  We roused Jessica and played Big Two.  This is a fun card game Jess taught us.  She is quite the card shark! We have a lot of fun, the three of us, playing this game.  Playing a game made Christmas Eve feel more festive and less lonely.  They’ve both headed to bed now because they are working early.  I think I’ll head to bed soon too.  The sooner I go to bed the sooner it will be Christmas, right?

Wishing you a “sweet as” Christmas!

(That’s a Kiwi saying.)

Bad Night

December 22, 2010

I just need to decompress.  Tonight at work was horrible.  I could see all my faults and mistakes.  I suck at waiting tables and I can’t do anything on my own.  I have to have someone tell me what to do or point out the obvious to me. Why am I like this?  Why can’t I figure things out on my own?  Why do I have to ask for help?

The power went out in Fox Glacier today.  I saw hail.  It was a wild night.  We had to turn the generator on for the hotel.  Then it turned off. I had to call my boss so many times tonight and bug him about stupid stuff.  I just feel useless.  Why did he even hire me when he ends up having to do everything anyway?

We were really full at the hotel tonight.  We had a large group of bike riders.  I met one couple from Seattle and I even heard people talking about the Seattle to Portland bike ride in the dining room!  Needless to say all these people were quite demanding.  I haven’t had to deal with demanding guests in a long time.  It brought back memories of the Residence Inn!  The Americans in the group were definitely the worst.

Our restaurant is so small and we only have so many people to man it.  For this reason we can’t seat everyone at exactly the time they want to be seated.  And almost everyone wanted to eat with us tonight.  With the power out there were only two restaurants in town open.  Trust me, those restuarants were very busy. Almost all of our hotel guests ate at our restaurant and we had one walk-in table that weren’t even staying at the hotel!

It was just nuts. Cookie was throwing things in the kitchen.  I felt stupid.  We had to call Caroline in to help even though she wasn’t scheduled to work.  It was just a horrible, horrible night.  And this was the first day of work for me in a string of nine days in a row!

The best part of the night was coming home and being cheered up by Jessica.  You know you’ve made a good friend when something like this happens and your friend says everything she can to make you feel better.  She made me laugh and just calm down.  There’s nothing quite like a friend who will do that for you.

The night

December 20, 2010

Magical. Romantic. Dreamlike.  

Walking through the forest with thick ferns, trees, and moss surrounding me.  In the dark.  Late at night when everyone has gone to sleep, I’m out here in the woods surrounded by thousands of beautiful, glowing lights.

Well, they aren’t really lights.  They are worms or maggots, rather.

My last entry I expounded on my new least favorite insect.  But tonight I was introduced to the most lovely insect: the glow worm.

All right I’ll back up.  Ever since I moved to Fox Glacier I’ve been hearing about glow worms.  A simple walking path right out of town is known as a spot to see them.  I’ve walked it during the daytime and been enthralled by the beauty of the rainforest.   And my friends and I have talked about going out at night to see them.  But we’ve been putting it off because it doesn’t get dark until very late here.  It took out of town guests to get us out in the forest to admire the glow worms.

Jessica had a phone call out of the blue from some friends she worked with earlier in her trip here in New Zealand.  They were in town and so they came over to our place for dinner.  Jessica and her friends decided it would be fun to go out and see the glow worms and invited me along.  

So we stayed up late and ventured out with our flashlights around 11 PM.  First we went up by our house where Chris said we could see them.  They were quite amazing and pretty similar to what I had imagined they would be like.  

Glow worms glow green.  Some are a paler color and look white, but the majority are green.  We decided to also check out the Minehaha trail on the other side of town. This path is a narrower path. At times when you look up you can only just barely see the sky because the path is covered by ferns and trees.  Here the glow worms were intense.  There would be numerous ones clustered together.  We were literally walking through the forest at night surrounded by green glowing worms!  There will be areas that just look like walls covered in glow worms.  Or you’ll look out into the dark of the forest and see glow worms glowing far away.  And they are beautiful.  

I felt like I was in a Disney movie and I was walking through a magical forest.  It almost looks like little green eyes are staring out at you from the forest!  What an experience!  How beautiful!  How amazing that these little maggots glow in the dark!  It kind of plays with my mind.  How can something so gross be so beautiful?

The treacherous beasts of New Zealand

December 18, 2010

If there is one thing I wish I had been warned about before deciding to come to New Zealand, that one thing would be sandflies. Often when comparing and contrasting Australia and New Zealand people bring up the fact that Australia has so many treacherous animals.  Australia has crocodiles and spiders that can kill you!  New Zealand, it’s always pointed out, has none of these dangerous animals.  There are also no bears, no cougars, and no crocodiles.  But there are sandflies

When I met my future roommates and co-workers they all warned me about sandflies.  They told me to buy some bug spray and ointment when I went to Nelson.  I just laughed at them.  Jessica pointed out all her bites on her feet and legs.  I felt sorry for her, but felt no danger.  I rarely get bitten by bugs.  I get one mosquito bite a summer and that’s about it.  They might all get bitten by sandflies, but I would not!

Needless to say I did not buy bug spray or ointment when I was in Nelson.  I went around believing I was immune to sandflies.  I came back to Fox quite prepared to be spared any sandfly bites.

Apparently I’m as immune to sandflies as I am to the common cold!  My first bite woke me up one morning about a week after I arrived.  I awoke scratching my ankle.  In a half sleep, half awake state I asked myself why I was scratching my ankle.  This happened several times until I dreamed about my roommates telling me about sandfly bites.  I awoke and realized that’s why I was scratching.  I had a bite!  So I made a strong effort to stop scratching.  But then my ankle felt like it was on fire and burning!  I was trying to fall back asleep again and I remembered what Auntie Bunty said about sandfly bites.  (Auntie Bunty was the dear friend of Penny in Nelson.)  Auntie Bunty said to put deodorant on sandfly bites.  Instead of actually getting out of bed to grab some deodorant, I half dreamed, half imagined I was wiping my ankle with deodorant.  Before I knew it my ankle was no longer burning and I was back to sleep!

When I finally woke up for real I also discovered I had a bite on my left hand.  These sandfly bites are red dots like a blister or zit.  The one on my hand was red and there was swelling all around it.

Every bite I’ve had so far has swollen up.  I have a bite on my arm and two on my legs.  Not only are sandfly bites itchy and red, but the swelling just makes your body look deformed and diseased!  I have a pretty strong self will and I don’t scratch my bites very  often so they heal a bit quicker, but the swelling and redness is disgusting!

My one consolation is that EVERYONE gets bit by sandflies.  No one is immune to sandfly bites.  Even I have been bitten!  I who never gets bitten!  So all of us, even the tourists, go around with red swollen blotches all over our bodies!  Fox isn’t the only place with sandflies.  They are a problem all over New Zealand!  Was I not warned about these treacherous insects before my arrival?  Or was I just assuming I was immune to them and blocked them out of my memory?

I have dutifully swallowed my pride and learned to deal with sandflies.  I’m following Auntie Bunty’s advice and applying deodorant.  It helps a small bit with the itching.  For the most part I am just exercising restraint when it comes to scratching.  I’m hoping all my bites heal well.  I may have to just break down and buy some bug spray though!  Here’s to swallowing my pride and learning to live like everyone else!

The Job

December 14, 2010

Te Weheka Inn is starting to feel like home.  I’m getting into the swing of things at reception and I’m learning a lot about working in a hotel restaurant.  The last two nights I’ve helped out a lot in the restaurant.  Waiting tables is hard work!  I feel so awkward asking guests what they want, do they need more time, and how things taste.  Josh says I’m doing a good job at learning it, but I’m not so sure.

Last night we had a couple of the owners and the CEO of the management company in for dinner.  This added a little extra pressure to serving dinner.  One nice thing about this job is that I know I won’t be here forever.  I don’t have to be perfect and if the owners and CEO don’t like me, well, they aren’t stuck with me forever.  I’m just a little working holiday visa worker.  

Te Weheka is a small property with only 21 rooms.  One of those rooms is specifically for the tour guide or bus driver that may come in with groups.  We work mostly with travel agents and big travel companies.  This is pretty different from what I’m used to, but really interesting.  We receive emails from the travel companies asking for rooms for certain nights for certain numbers of people.  We book it and then email them back that it’s all taken care of.  So most of the bookings come through email and I become really flustered if a normal person calls me about booking a room over the phone!

The inn has a different feel from anywhere else I’ve worked.  It feels like a small inn and Chris is the innkeeper.  He knows everything about the town, the hotel, and the local area.  When he talks to guests he just sounds so natural about it.  It’s more like he’s a local telling a visitor some information than a hotel staff member trying to please a guest.  I really admire this in him and hope that some day I can feel like I’m casual and helpful.  

We had a hotel staff meeting today and Chris gave us our next schedule.  This schedule covers Christmas and New Year’s.  Chris is going on vacation over this period and anticipates that we will be quite busy.  We have one of the few restaurants in town that is open on Christmas Day so we can expect a lot of people from outside of the hotel too.  Chris has also planned a special Christmas dinner/party for the staff at the Plateau Cafe and Bar.  It’s this Sunday and we are really excited!  I personally can’t wait.  I love all the people I work with and I’m looking forward to spending time altogether!  A nice, free meal never hurts either!

Speaking of free meals, at the hotel I get one meal a day when I’m working.  If it’s the morning I get breakfast which can even include sausage, eggs, bacon, and potato hash!  In the evening I get dinner.  So far for dinner I’ve had steak and salad and vegetable frittata and salad!  It’s like having a $32 NZD meal for free!  Yum!  The food is so good!  

I’ve been here in Fox Glacier and at Te Weheka Inn for nearly two weeks already.  Time has really flown by.  I thought I’d feel trapped here, but I don’t.  I really like it. The job is engaging and unique and my friends and co-workers are varied and interesting.  There’s very little I more I could ask for!