February 16, 2011
It’s amazing how sudden happiness can overwhelm one. Just sitting on a ragged picnic chair on my concrete front step, happiness exploded over me. Maybe not exploded, maybe burst, or slowly crept into my heart. I’m reading some sort of thriller that someone left behind in their hotel room. It’s easy stuff. Big font and easy pace. I’m all alone. The sun has even decided to hide behind the clouds although earlier she was showing off like crazy all over town! Now my favorite new song is playing on the radio. It reminds me of old fashioned music, but it’s very new R&B.
Earlier today, I was so homesick. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the mundane things about home. Like Alderwood Mall. Who freaking cares about Alderwood Mall? But I think about it all the time. I think about it’s shiny, polished floors. The buzz of people walking every which way. The skylights and the carts in the middle of the floors. The fancy shops like Abercrombie and Fitch and The Gap. I haven’t been there in so long, but it penetrates my thoughts!
I thought about the boring suburban feel of my hometown, Everett. The McDonald’s signs, the traffic lights, Safeways, the mountains in the distance reminding us how close we really are to the wilderness. Forest Park, gritty Evergreen Way where it intersects with Casino Road, and where my favorite Fred Meyer store is. All these stupid things make me miss home.
But then suddenly I’m not homesick anymore. I couldn’t be happier than I am now sitting on my front step drinking lemon water and milky New Zealand Bell tea. Why does this happen? Why do I suddenly swing from a homesickness that niggles at the back of my mind all day long to a beautiful happiness? It comes from no where. In a moment I go from being OK to being supremely happy! I’m dashing quickly up the stairs! I can’t hold back the smile spreading over my face. Where does this come from?
Maybe it doesn’t matter where it comes from. Maybe it just matters that it is. I’m happy and why should I question it? I’m going to go back to my beach trash book and enjoy my happiness.
It comes from God silly.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you were thinking about Alderwood Mall because your mom was in the vicinity at Barnes and Noble. Love your perspective. Love seeing the world through your eyes. Love you, Mom!
ReplyDeletestay happy. one more happy person the world needs. I think the mind (or just mine?) tends to wander back in time to escape the present, whether the present is great or not. I concur with you and your experience that you are not alone with your mind wandering back in time--but I do commend you for your choice to be happy in your present. And homesickness is normal, thank God for your mom and family and the mall back home, and Everett, and Whitworth--all has enabled to you to succeed and be happy, walking the earth in New Zealand.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement!
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